Monday 16th - Friday 20th November 2020 is National Anti-Bullying week, here at The Pod we feel very strongly about this subject. The weeks purpose is to raise awareness and help parents and children to late teens stop it from happening. 
 
But does it stop when you leave school? 
 
We would like to talk about how bullying is still very real as an adult, it just got its grades and moved on to the working world with you. 
“Bullying is conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a reasonable code of conduct, and whose likely or actual cumulative effect is to threaten, undermine, constrain, humiliate or harm another person or their property, reputation, self-esteem, self-confidence or ability to perform.” Bullyonline.org 
The workplace has changed dramatically in the last 20 years, whether hospitality, service, office based or at home, they all have the same 3 C’s. 
 
Colleagues, Customers and Competitors – all of whom have the potential to bully you, whether you realise it or not, some may be doing it already. 

“Archbishop of Banterbury” – If you aren’t laughing, it’s not a joke. 

Whether one on one or in a group, email, phone or in person, a standard alpha behaviour for bullying is everyone’s favourite term that hopefully 2017 will take back…. “It’s just banter”. Some relationships work well with a level of debasing each other, a sort of simplistic level of comradery. That doesn’t mean you should be part of it if it’s not for you, because you’re the one that gets wounded, not them. 
 
Your relationship with anyone is about mutual understanding, you are well within your rights to say, “you may do that with others, but we won’t be”. Often, we put up with the invisible stick to earn our carrot. You’re a human, not a test subject for a failed stand-up comedians' new material. 
 
Think of it this way, you may not mind if someone swears, but no one has the right to swear at you. 

“Don’t you want me, baby?” – They don’t have to buy from you, so why are they still talking to you? 

Thanks to the internet, we now live in a world of “Consumer Bias”, this means the customer now has all the information and has the ability to educate and choose for themselves, they have all the control. 
 
Ever feel like your enquiries/conversations seem more like a dating app? Are you being asked to discount or offer more or they’ll use someone else? Is there mention of giving reviews? Being asked to work without being paid? Being asked to bid yourself? 
 
You and your products and services are worth what you are charging, you do not need to jump through hoops, value is different to cost, YOUR value is not something that can be bought. You are allowed to politely decline, if they want to dance with someone else at the disco that’s on them. 

Don’t pay the troll toll. 

“Social media made you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.” – Mike Tyson 
We can’t escape it, we can’t help it, we can’t stop it… but we can report and block it. Whether friend, colleague, customer or competitor, just hit the button. 
“Life the way we’ve known, from young the way we’re shown” – Prof. Green 
Now it’s worth noting we all have bad days; we shouldn’t look to immediately write someone off because of one instance. If you have one, no damage will be done in apologising. 
 
A lot of bullying habits are learnt, through training, peers, upbringing, so it sucks when someone is negatively contributing to your life but do try to find solace in the fact it probably isn’t personal and interaction with you may help them improve. 
 
Find your boundaries, request your boundaries and stick to them. It’s not your job to change someone else’s life, but you can improve yours. 
 
Dee Says - The quicker the bullies are removed from your life the quicker you can look at moving on. I know first-hand this isn’t just a quick thing to turn around. I’ve been through various counselling because of an old employer and colleague. Even as a business owner in my own right I've ended up in situations which can only be described as some sort of weird platonic abusive relationship. It can take a long time to realise it’s happening and even longer to get out. 
 
If you think you’re being bullied, please talk to someone. You’re not alone and I guarantee you probably know someone who has been in a similar situation. You get one chance at this life. 2020 has been hard enough. Don’t put up with kn*bheads going into 2021. 
Until next time, 
Mike and Dee x 
 
 
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On 16th November 2020 at 15:00, Michael wrote:
Excellent article. Thanks for posting this!
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